Jess Smith Author Interview
Emetophobia & Me follows your transformation from a childhood shaped by fear to an adulthood grounded in courage, compassion, and the radical act of choosing to live fully even when anxiety whispers otherwise. Why was this an important book for you to write?
What a great question. It brought up quite a lot for me. I will try to summarise it. Having battled crippling anxiety throughout most of my childhood and adult life, I wanted nothing more than to help others who were suffering too. When I saw someone suffering with anxiety and/or emetophobia and heard them speak of their experience in ways I deeply resonated with, my heart would literally hurt. For many years, I would just listen and try to offer any understanding and …. well, just love really. It felt like a lifeline for me to have someone who would just listen and remind me that I was not alone. So when I decided to write this little book, it was really to create a lifeline for those who feel lost and to remind them that they were safe. There is hope, and they are deeply loved.
What feels important to me is that, even when I am gone, my books might still bring comfort to others. That feels like meaningful work to me.
What was the hardest memory to revisit while writing Emetophobia & Me, and how did you care for yourself during that process?
Writing the book really did bring up some old feelings and fears, but it was therapeutic in a way too. I think the hardest part to revisit was those times, as a child, where I felt so unsafe. I had the phobia, anxiety, and panic ( I had no idea they had names then), there was violence at home, and my sister was diagnosed with cancer.
I felt so sad for that frightened little girl, who tried tirelessly to control what was never in her control. I guess that is why I turned inward more and more, to try and control myself. To try and keep myself safe with rituals, behaviour, and fear.
Was there a specific moment when your relationship with fear shifted from something to avoid to something you could coexist with?
You know, I wish there was a light bulb moment when it all changed. We are all looking for the magical quick fix, right? But, actually, it was a slow process. A process of seeing, then not seeing, then seeing more. The real change came from being open to being wrong …. about who I thought I was, my beliefs, and my misunderstanding about fear.
Being open. Being prepared to change your mind. Being aware that there is a lot you don’t know yet, is huge.
What do you hope readers who don’t struggle with phobias take away about empathy and the lived experience of anxiety?
It has always been important to me that loved ones and family members have some understanding about anxiety and Phobias. The one thing a sufferer needs is understanding. Followed by time and love. Just listen, not always to fix, but just to hear. Often, we sufferers of anxiety feel unheard, and that increases fear and insecurity.
The answer to everything always is love.
